pair of jeans

all of us, at one time or another, has had someone in their life that they feel they want to be with forever.. yes, even my snarky side has wished this for myself.. but, when the dust settles from the thorough stomping of your heart, you still hang onto that hope the person will see you as other than a mere friend..

what do you do when you have been banished to the 'friend zone'..? i have a friend that is in this purgatory on earth zone and feels almost helpless.. it's an awful place to be and yes, i've been relagated to this no-man's land before but have finally learned to move beyond it.. sure there are moments when i feel i am getting close to breaking the silence i've been forced to endure and confessing all my feelings for this person, but i quickly take a deep breath, sinking quietly back to my life in my own purgatory.. in some strange way, purgatory feels safer..

how do we release ourselves from this zone..? do we ever..? i just wonder if the person is truly aware of what goes on in another's heart when it comes to them.. i have to think they do.. yet, one reason i think they do not act upon it or open that 'can of worms' is because they do not want to be held or feel responsible for the pain of another person, a guilt they are not strong enough to handle.. i am convinced this person knows they cannot make you happy, you deserve much more that what they have and when you realize it, you are free of that banishment of the 'friend zone' and purgatory..

in my cynical view on the matters of the heart and in life, i still feel there is one person that fits each one of us like that perfect pair of worn-in jeans.. in our world of billions, we search for that one person who doesn't relegate you to the dreaded 'friend zone'.. you have to wear that pair of jeans for years, you have to put them on, take them off, toss them in the washer, sleep in them and all of this to find the perfect fit..

despite the billions of people in our world, we become so engrossed with the phenomenon of tunnel-vision that we become almost obsessed with proving to that one person we are perfect for them, that we don't belong in the 'friend zone' and that are the one who can make their world spin.. in my experience with such a occurance, you lose sight of who you are, you start to question your being, your existence and convince yourself you are doing something wrong.. your whole waking and sometimes sleeping life is about this one person and why they can't see what a great person you are..

there comes a day when that moment of crystal clear clarity finally makes its way to the surface of your own private space in purgatory and it all boiled down to one simple statement: what you are doing wrong is trying to convince the wrong person you are the right pair of jeans..