i’m not sure where exactly to start this one.. the thing i have on my mind is of a different subject matter from my other ramblings.. this one might come across as rude, uncaring, unfeeling or it might just hit you in the right spot and leave you thinking “huh, that’s right, why didn’t i think of that..!” or “wow, i would have never had the balls to say something like that, well, at least not out loud..”
whether it’s an immediate one or not, where’s the line..? where do you draw the line at helping a family member..? what are the factors that warrant your assistance..? what are the factors that determine you actually help them..? do you have to actually help them..?
case in point: (all names have been changed to protect the identity of all mentioned).. let’s say there is a HUGE annual family party that is the highlight of the year, next to Christmas or Thanksgiving.. but, in comes the predicament.. we all have at least one in our family, the one family member, ‘Felix/Harriet’, that shows up ‘a bit foxed’, to put it lightly.. it's okay to admit it, you know you do..
the reckless relative, Felix/Harriet, calls a family member for a ride to the party.. after several phone calls, Felix/Harriet finds a ride and is now in ‘partay’ mode.. while at the family bash, they go on to add beer, wine (or whine, whichever fits) or any other readily available intoxicant to their already inebriated state..
now comes the time when the party has to end.. who gives Felix/Harriet a ride home (original 'taxi' had the smart mind to bail early)..? what will it cost you (paid in either nerves or actually cash)..? let’s not let it slip our mind that Felix/Harriet have already argued with more than half of the family and a few that were not family.. does Felix/Harriet get pawned off on the unsuspecting relative with no children and who has the cool sports car..? the equally inebriated aunt/uncle who is being driven home by their children/grandchildren..? who draws the long straw..??
do you toss Felix/Harriet in the bed of your truck, the trunk of your car or duct tape their mouth closed and toss them in the backseat with hopes they won’t vomit due to your ‘hell on wheels’ driving style..? or, do you pull a ruthless move and surreptitiously call the police from your cell phone in the restroom and report an unruly, disorderly ‘vagrant’ in the parking lot..?
helping a family down on his/her luck is a given, especially if it is uncharacteristic for this person to have such bad luck.. that is what family is for, granted that the person doesn’t take advantage of the situation.. helping out a family member who keeps having their voodoo doll poked or the rug pulled out from under them until they can find the prick-er or can manage to tack down that rug is all part of you doing your good deeds.. but when does that help cross that line in the sand..?
consider for a moment these possible factors..: who volunteered you..?? is this person notorious for such behavior..? how much actual money will it cost you..? will it cause a rift between you and your spouse/partner..? will it cause a rift between you and any family member (mom, dad, grandparent, aunt/uncle, cousin)..? again, who volunteered you..??
i think what it all boils down to is what it will cost you in nerves.. sure it might cost you some cash in gas money, but lending or not lending assistance to the overly-obnoxious, ultra-inebriated Felix/Harriet will surely have a widespread rippling effect upon all family members whether they actually chipped in to help in one form or another or not.. but, then again, there is always the thought of disowning such a hapless individual..
at the end of a trying day, aunt flo or uncle floyd will just have to get over your lack of eagerness when it comes to your idiotic relative.. your nerves and well-being, not to mention the nerves and well-being of your children and/or children of the other family members, are worth much more than assisting the wretch.. call him/her a cab and save yourself some much needed nerve cells.. and if they reach their destination and realize they don’t have any cash, don’t answer the phone when they call..!
whether it’s an immediate one or not, where’s the line..? where do you draw the line at helping a family member..? what are the factors that warrant your assistance..? what are the factors that determine you actually help them..? do you have to actually help them..?
case in point: (all names have been changed to protect the identity of all mentioned).. let’s say there is a HUGE annual family party that is the highlight of the year, next to Christmas or Thanksgiving.. but, in comes the predicament.. we all have at least one in our family, the one family member, ‘Felix/Harriet’, that shows up ‘a bit foxed’, to put it lightly.. it's okay to admit it, you know you do..
the reckless relative, Felix/Harriet, calls a family member for a ride to the party.. after several phone calls, Felix/Harriet finds a ride and is now in ‘partay’ mode.. while at the family bash, they go on to add beer, wine (or whine, whichever fits) or any other readily available intoxicant to their already inebriated state..
now comes the time when the party has to end.. who gives Felix/Harriet a ride home (original 'taxi' had the smart mind to bail early)..? what will it cost you (paid in either nerves or actually cash)..? let’s not let it slip our mind that Felix/Harriet have already argued with more than half of the family and a few that were not family.. does Felix/Harriet get pawned off on the unsuspecting relative with no children and who has the cool sports car..? the equally inebriated aunt/uncle who is being driven home by their children/grandchildren..? who draws the long straw..??
do you toss Felix/Harriet in the bed of your truck, the trunk of your car or duct tape their mouth closed and toss them in the backseat with hopes they won’t vomit due to your ‘hell on wheels’ driving style..? or, do you pull a ruthless move and surreptitiously call the police from your cell phone in the restroom and report an unruly, disorderly ‘vagrant’ in the parking lot..?
helping a family down on his/her luck is a given, especially if it is uncharacteristic for this person to have such bad luck.. that is what family is for, granted that the person doesn’t take advantage of the situation.. helping out a family member who keeps having their voodoo doll poked or the rug pulled out from under them until they can find the prick-er or can manage to tack down that rug is all part of you doing your good deeds.. but when does that help cross that line in the sand..?
consider for a moment these possible factors..: who volunteered you..?? is this person notorious for such behavior..? how much actual money will it cost you..? will it cause a rift between you and your spouse/partner..? will it cause a rift between you and any family member (mom, dad, grandparent, aunt/uncle, cousin)..? again, who volunteered you..??
i think what it all boils down to is what it will cost you in nerves.. sure it might cost you some cash in gas money, but lending or not lending assistance to the overly-obnoxious, ultra-inebriated Felix/Harriet will surely have a widespread rippling effect upon all family members whether they actually chipped in to help in one form or another or not.. but, then again, there is always the thought of disowning such a hapless individual..
at the end of a trying day, aunt flo or uncle floyd will just have to get over your lack of eagerness when it comes to your idiotic relative.. your nerves and well-being, not to mention the nerves and well-being of your children and/or children of the other family members, are worth much more than assisting the wretch.. call him/her a cab and save yourself some much needed nerve cells.. and if they reach their destination and realize they don’t have any cash, don’t answer the phone when they call..!
