my thoughts of the day..

today, i sit with a ton of thoughts swirling in the vastness of my mind.. i just wonder what goes on in *gasp* "the male mind".. take for example the simple act of saying hello to one of them.. then he completely ignores you for a week and counting.. or he says hello to you, you respond and then 'crickets'.. or when he who drops off the face of the earth, then wonders, no let me rewrite that, has the nerve to wonder why you haven't talked to him.. and to your surprise or not, before you can say anything, he disappears like a fart in the wind..

i've chalked it up to being one of the many mysteries of the universe.. kinda like how the cosmos were created, how life on earth came to be and is there really life on other planets.. science does its best to explain the events, but there is always something left that can't quite be explained by science or technology.. so, it's left up to divine interpretation, only to be explained by the higher being.. and that higher being is supposed to be gender neutral or is it..? ah, do i sense a possible consipiracy..?

get a bunch of your girlfriends together and discuss this.. what would be the outcome..?? the responses could scare off even the 'divine'.. all watered down, a simple "hang them by their balls" or take and wipe the thoughts of them with your bum, toss it into a swirly, watery grave and be done with it.. but, despite your girlfriends best intentions of ridding you of the puzzling thoughts of the male mind, they lurk.. lurk in the recesses, rearing its head or ass (depending on the advice of which friend you are speaking) and leaves you right back where you were at the beginning, at square one..

but, then again, is it safe to sit down and discuss this with your best girlfriends..? air your thoughts over a triple shot, no foam, extra vanilla vente caramel macchiato topped with whipped cream and a dusting of chocolate powder..? should some of your private thoughts really be taken to the grave..? or discussed in the presence of a *looking both directions* therapist..? well, for now, the yummy drink at starbuck's will have to be the therapist.. what about being the real fly on the wall..? i bet that fly has heard and seen some of the best stuff ever, sadly, it only lives for a few days, to never reveal its secrets.. boy, but would it be cool to be it for those few days they are alive..! i'd be the first fly ever to learn how to blog..

how would one label me..? single and unnattached..? single and uninvolved..? single and don't even think about checking me out cuz i will land the hardest roundhouse kick imaginable right in the middle of your family jewels that great-great-great grandpa shmoe will feel it..? might be a little harsh, but i'm sure, when dealing with the flippant male mind, it's really not so harsh..

in the time it took to jot down my daily rumblings, has it brought me any closer to a realization or a 'tada' moment in understanding the interworkings of the male mind..? uhmm, not even close..

recipes

today, i had a discussion with a friend of mine about family recipes.. to share, not to share, to share w/ ex's.. we decided sharing with a particular ex would be bad for family business.. the nerve of the man actually having the daughter spy on grandma in hopes of obtaining a secret family recipe for her tortillas..! sure, you can probably pick out a good tortilla recipe online or go to a relative/friend of relative who happens to know how to make them homemade, but will it yield the result you are desperately in search of..? how secret are family secret recipes..? sure, most are passed down from generation to generation, but where do you draw the line at recipe gathering involving surreptitious spying and covert espionage..? stealthy pictures of grandma's hands (knowing her hands are her 'measuring cups')..? the only hope is the attempted recruiting of an unknowing child at gathering is was thwarted.. the attempt by the ex was deemed low and in words that gained a hearty round of laughter: "he's lower than the dirt on the bottom of a pile of dog poo.."

in my family, we have recipes that have been passed down through the generations.. some, after following the recipe, are not as tasty as the recipe claims (to put it nicely).. and some are downright scrumptious..! i guess, after thinking about the topic of the day, my friend and i decided if her ex wanted a recipe from her family, he'd have to cough up one of his mom's prized recipes.. in light of the many years since it was first requested and has not yet been handed over, the likelihood of hell freezing over before the recipe swapping happens is the most likely scenario..