the three old hags

well, time is gonna be an enemy of mine for sometime and has been.. this particular time, it's in the case of attempting to keep my words written down in a timely fashion.. see, time again..!

we’ve all heard the sayings regarding time.. time is irrelevant; time is relevant; time heals all wounds; time is precious; time flies when you are having fun and slows when you worry; your time is up!.. and so on.. but, what does it all really mean..? is time a state of mind..? i am beginning to really believe that there is actual truth in that comment.. sure, we can have clocks, multitudes of clocks, to pinpoint a moment in time but what does it all really mean..? clocks are another way for us to compartmentalize and document our lives, to keep track of all the nuances of our lives, to justify why simply exist..

utilize the time you have.. live your life to the fullest.. do not dwell on the ‘could have’s’ because time will not let you get them back.. these sayings are meant to inspire us, to keep us going, to make sure we don’t curl up in the fetal position and begin to just let time go by..

i was in a discussion with someone this morning, somewhat related to time, but it centered around control and my own personal tight rein on it.. growing up, i wasn’t truly given ‘time’ to myself, i was busy being molded by my parents and left under the scrutinizing eyes of my brothers when my parents weren’t there.. time, at that point, wasn’t mine.. my time was controlled, nearly every moment.. when to study, when to eat, when to socialize, when to simply just relax..

as an adult, i control my own environment.. when i eat, when i sleep (although at the present moment, insomnia seems to be in control in that department, but i will overcome that one with sheer determination to not allow something to dictate to me), when to work or play.. sometimes, i’m almost fanatical about it.. i am somewhat of a perfectionist and because of it, yes, a perfectionist to the degree that i can be downright anal about it.. but, my thought is that if you are going to waste time doing something wrong, why waste it..? do it right and it’s time well spent..

i read a line today from the movie “The Matrix” and it read “do you believe in fate? no, i do not because i don’t like the fact i’m not in control of my life..” this rang true with me, probably because of my strict upbringing, but it also made me think of time as a state of mind.. possibly fate..? what is that? in simple terms, it means a course in time with a predestined outcome.. my time has already been accounted for and i am basically just walking towards the inevitable..?

my cocoon of the idea of safe control of my own time has just been unraveled and the idea of fate has left me with no control at all..? my thoughts are now of "the three fates"; the three goddesses in greek mythology of fate and destiny, known as the moirae.. the three old hags who weave time and destiny to control your life.. is my life really a ball of yarn in the hands of clotho: the holder of the thread of life, lachesis: the holder of the length the thread of life and atropos: the one who can end it with the snip of a pair of scissors..?

how can this be..? your time is not your own..? sound familiar.. your time belongs to other people as well as yourself and vice versa..? it's what you do and what they do with that time that matters, that shapes your fate..? now, we're back to fate and it being preempted for your viewing pleasure or displeasure.. vicious circle.. ooh, that's another subject..

hmm.. maybe my thoughts on time and control have snowballed into something to above and beyond, but maybe, just maybe, somewhere in the inner workings of my mind, i may have touched upon something to give one a thought to ponder.. is it time to control your own destiny or leave it up to three old hags and a ball of yarn..?