reflections of the psyche

ever have someone just make your skin crawl..? give you the creeps..? the mere sight of them makes your blood boil..? well, i'm sure you get my path of thoughts on this one.. okay, there's a person i encounter once in a while, not often, but just enough that their presence makes famously polluted, thick London fog look like the fake Halloween smoke.. what causes such a reaction..? how do you train yourself to calm your nerves for fear that one second too long in this persons' presence will cause you to black out and pull a 'Jack the Ripper' on them..? well, maybe not that bad, but the age-old cliche of 'ripping someone's head off' comes chillingly to mind..

i'm not one to preach psychology nor am i one to pretend to be knowledgeable in the field of psychiatry and its vast libraries of the brain's infinite nuances.. i question my thoughts daily and have begun to dissect and catalog them in my own vast library.. rather than trying to figure out what makes another person do something, what makes me tick..?

i had once heard or read that the people who irk you the most is your own reflection of yourself in their eyes..? once thinking about this, do i put off that vibe that makes another person's skin crawl? do i give another person the creeps..? i certainly hope not.. is this a quirky, tim burton-ish twist on the Golden Rule - "Do unto other as you would have them do unto you"..?

with that said, is my standoffish, aloof, arrogant persona reflecting onto others and therefore the way i want to be treated..? maybe that's my 'front', but i've also been told i'm friendly, funny, loyal, strong, trustworthy, somewhat geeky person.. hmm, am i a modern day jeckyll and hyde..? that is surely something to think about.. but, as i sit here laughing imagining myself as the character "Two-Face" from the Batman comics, can a person such as this be real..?

mayby i am an anomoly..? am i a strange, unusual or unique occurance in the human race or, more specific, the female half of the race..? not sure if i would exactly go that far, but i am learning that i am a bit of an eccentric, bit of a dark, brooding soul all mixed up to create this entity of the universe that is uniquely me. it's actually kinda cool..